*The following is an unedited copy of an email I sent to friends in 2006, after watching the movie Gubra. In light of the recent political climate, I thought it would be interesting to compare the sentiments felt 2 years ago with our feelings now. Draw your own conclusions.
On 4/28/06, (*K)___ <whatthebug@yahoo.com> wrote:
Warning: written at 3 am. haha
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Kepada Sayang-sayang I,
I think the name 'Gubra' was rather apt, as I memang did feel rather 'gubra' while watching some scenes in the movie ; it wasn't "anxiousness"/"anxiety" due to what was going on with the characters/story line, but rather the strange feeling of seeing little bits of "malaysia" spooned out to us on a BIG screen. Even the tiniest of details such as watching the Planta (i think) & kaya spread onto the bread felt odd, in a very 'intimate' sense ; we (I) don't see "our" lives potrayed in movies. I see people eating bagels & cream cheese-lite for breakfast in movies, and find that "normal", "acceptable", "appropriate for movies" - nevermind that I've never in my life had a blinkin' bagel. There was a sense of 'gubra' because it felt like I was venturing into territory that i should be familiar with, yet had no idea how to deal with in a BIG SCREEN movie (it *makes a difference* that I watched this in the cinema as opposed to on the telly).
You know how we have a 'catalogue' of emotions that come ready with familiar experiences ('laugh, smile, eat, sing repetitive birthday song ' at birthday parties, 'sob, stay quiet' at funerals, etc)...? Turns out I don't have that 'catalogue' for a "malaysian"-movie....so it....felt ..curious, and frankly, a little worrying.. How sad that my experience of movies has not been defined by my own culture ; how sad that it's "surprising" when I identify with elements in a Malaysian movie...!
Perhaps the most 'squirmy' (but in a good way)-inducing effect of the movie is the way "issues" that are usually so 'hush-hush'(/"sensitive"/"threat to national security"/anarchy-will-happen-if-mentioned) were spoken about by the characters. In Sepet there was that bit where (I think it was Orked), Orked says (i'm paraphrasing) that it's unfair that Malay students sometimes get scholarships despite not doing as well as students of other races ; even though I watched this in my own home (*my* house; the center for "threats to national security"!! ;p), I remember having to pause a little at that....I wasn't sure how to 'react'. And then I felt a little relieved...because someone had said it *in a Movie*!. And for a moment it felt that all our tensions that simmer so quietly at the surface would be ok somehow.
The truck scene with Orked & Alan therefore is one of my favourites from the movie: The bit where Alan says that he wonders if 'you guys' know how hard it is 'for the rest of us' really sums up a lot of the 'unspokeness' that goes on between our ethnic groups ; the fact that we all knew exactly what he meant by "you guys" and "the rest of us", and the fact that most of us could think of experiences where it was "hard for us" all weighed towards this 'unspokeness'.
I Love that bit after that when he says that "it's like being in love with someone who doesn't love you back"; that quote so poignantly addressed what a lot of 'the rest of us" feel... and more importantly, it speaks to the fact that although the love may be unrequited, we cannot deny that we still continue to love it (the country). Can there be a stronger shout of national pride than that?
And as shouts of national pride go, the bright-neon-coloured-idealistic notions of Yasmin Ahmad are crucial to the movie, I feel. The imam petting the dog....the muslim family giggling at the 'makan babi' comment...the sex-workers who are gal-pals with the imam's wife...(to name a few) may seem so far-fetched to some, but I think it deserves applaus because it draws to the possibilities of what we can be, as a country.
Yes, sure...we can nitpick at the details. The s l o o o w pace of the movie, the at times confusing switch of story lines (from Orked's -- to the Imam's)....the rather annoying acting (by some)....and whatever else we can find. And yes, we are fair to nitpick at the details, becase we are not wrong for wanting "better quality" movies. My only worry is that if we allow the 'details' to override the makna yang tersirat, then we risk losing out on a rare Malaysian-cultural product. ...yes, I don't like getting into all the 'hype', and raving on and on without objectivity ; but this time, I think i'm going to allow myself to be blinded a little by the hype, and not see the editing-flaws ; just so I can experience this fully.
I feel a little like a renewed citizen now. I want to go and vote, and learn Cantanose & Tamil...i want to order char siew pau for myself and kaya pau for my malay friend without feeling 'wrong'....i want to watch an old "mixed" couple tease and chase each other ....and i want to drive in a beaten up truck, with "khabi khabi" playing in the background, and my sayang who has Alan's bod & Jason's face sitting next to me. *wink
~~ketrinaa (as I was so affectionately called by my multi-ethnic teachers in school)
PS: Ingat.....ikan jerung, ikan yu....jaga diri, i love you. *haw haw
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