"Life is real! Life is ernest!"



Excerpt from Notes from the Park (Maliamauv, 2007)

4.10 pm - November 7th, 2007, Bethesda Terrace, Central Park

I'm sitting on a bench, in front of a gorgeous fountain, eating an empanada. It's cold, about 3 degrees celcius. In the background there's an opera recital going on. I can't see them, but their voices ring clear against the acoustic canvas of the fountain. An old man sits on a bench a short distance from me, a black umbrella his lone companion. Near the lake, a photographer snaps, shoots and directs a couple - standard actions before he Photoshops out the dull depths of the man's eye and the over hopefulness of the lady's fifth avenue smile.

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Excerpt from Being Whimsical by the Water (Maliamauv, 2007)

If I ever marry someone painfuly wealthy, I'd love for my wedding reception to be in The Boathouse, facing The Lake in the park. While guests sway to the soothing serenade of sparkling champagne & a string quartet, we'll steal away for a private moment for a row on The Lake - a ridiculous but charming sight we'll be; me in my wedding dress, he in his Neru-tux, laughing & reciting our private vows in an old, rocking, wooden boat.

KatFact #3: The Half-Conscious Self


The period of time after I lay my head down on my pillow & before I fall asleep is when I'm at my most creative - I compose the best letters, think up really creative story lines, form poetry, solve math problems, come up with great decorating ideas, create new recipes...etc. The magical combination of pure exhaustion, a half-conscious state and a pillow never fails me.

Could this be why my I perform best on assignments & papers when running on 2 hours of sleep, almost no food, a pillow behind my back and the deadline coming at me quicker than a Japanese bullet train controlled by a driver running on E & an adrenaline high?

Is the state of half-consciousness my point of optimal performance?
Pic taken from...aih, I don't know. I Googled it. *malu

Lady Liberty


From my walk across the Brooklyn Bridge (Nov 5th '07):


“The New Colossus” by Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles.
From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!"” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

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KatFact#2: I really, really dislike the sight of people chewing gum - As prissy as I sound, I find it distasteful & rather uncouth. The worst is when they snap & pop the gum incessantly. *shudder.

Revelation


I've decided that every day -ok, woah, too big a commitment-, scratch that, as often as possible, i shall include a little 'fact' about myself.

It shall be a process of self-discovery - hopefully.

So, with great pleasure & much excitement, I bring you, KatFact #1 *curtains open, elephants ride unicycles up & down the stage, circus music plays, I trampoline off a platform & land on one knee on the middle of stage, hands stretched open (jazz-fingers), ending it with a theatrical "Ta da!!" *

The first diary I ever owned was a pink & purple diary that came with a little plastic 'heart-shaped' lock (with one of those dumbarse keys that give the illusion of safety & privacy). I was 9. I liked the idea of writing in it more than the actual act of doing so (not much has changed). I made several entries in it, only to then have my privacy ripped from me - my siblings, being siblings, read it. As a further act of precaution, I started to write my entries in code.

I then forgot the code.

So, the secrets to/of my heart shall be locked away forever. Even from me.

I like you, Like You.


I caught a bit of a David Duchovny interview the other day, and something he said struck me. The interviewer asked him what the secret to his successful marriage with actress Tea Leoni was ; his reply, although simple enough, was rather striking. "We still like each other".

How many people can say that about their partners, years down the road of marriage?

We still like each other.

Huh.
Pic taken from duchovny.net

HeartSmiles


I don't know if anyone knows this about me, but I Love relfecting...I reflect on everything, almost to the point of obsession. My best moments are when I'm travelling....on the bus, train, car; for whatever reason, moving in some sort of vehicle enhances my capacity for relfection.

As I've been travelling quite a fair bit of late, I've inevitably started reflecting a lot more. In these past few weeks, theyS've turned almost solely to the thought of what makes me happy, where do I find joy, the little things that make my heart smile. As such, I've compiled a mini list here...now, this list is only a fraction of the thousands of things that make me happy. So, lets just say, at the time of posting this, these are the few random ones that sprung to mind.

1. Making someone laugh.
2. Perfectly buttered toast.
3. The air in Manhattan after 8 pm on a crisp autumn night.
4. My dog sleeping on my tummy.
5. The sight, smell & sounds of my home on Christmas Morning.
6. The remembrance of laughter - "re-laughing".
7. Receiving packages.
8. The awareness of being loved.
9. Liva.
10.Eves-dropping on conversations among strangers.
11. London.
12. People doing unexpected things: I saw a lady skip to the train in Grand Central; a child squeeling "this is so exciting!" at nothing in particular..
13. A baby clutching my finger / falling asleep in my arms.
14. Looking up at the person across/next to you & realizing you have a friend for life.
15. Dimple (the person).
16. Dimples on guys (the facial feature).
17. 3/4-boiled eggs (yes, I detest 1/2 boiled, while full boiled just isn't perfect enough).
18. Christmas Carols.
19. Private jokes.
20. The surge of energy as a crowd of people cross the street when the 'Walk'-light flashes green.
21. Books that make me warm in the middle & my toes curl with delight.
22. Random conversations with strangers.
23. Receiving letters / emails (that are Not 'fwd:..."s) .
24. Taking a really good picture.
25. Having dinner with my entire family.
26. The air inside places of worship, especially churches.
27. Cooking for others.
28. Conversations that are deep, silly, fun and precious.
29. Black & white pictures.
30. Giving a damn good presentation.
31. Singing with a church full of people.
32. Friends.
33. Replaying conversations in my head.
34. Correctly saying something in a foreign language.
35. Bemidji.
36. Romantic poems...not corny B.S, but really, Really good stuff (re: kahlil gibran, ingrid trobisch, rumi...)
37. Dogs.
38. My dog.
39. A well-dressed man.
40. Daydreaming.
41. Lines (from a book/movie/person/song) that make my heart pause for a second, while my mind attempts to grasp the greatness of it.
42. Singing along to songs.
43. Learning something new about myself.
44. Laughing till I'm out of breath, my sides hurt & my cheeks ache.
45. The feel of really clean teeth.
46. Good perfume.
47. A smile from a stranger.
48. Being proud of my work.
49. Hugs.
50. Walking down the street with music playing in the background that matches my mood perfectly.

What makes Your heart smile?

Deep Meaningful Insight Into How The X-Files Contributed Positively To My Life (The title also known as "TXF-Rox")




This is in reaction to Franpei's "An-X-Phile...? you've got some explaning to do, tootsie". Now, I'm not exactly sure what it is she wanted explained, but it got me thinking, and then it got my typin...so here's a few -albeit long- explanations...

1. At the ripe old age of 11, I was a pro at surfing the net, changing all my computer settings to x-files related themes (sounds/pictures/...my computer would say "they are shutting us down, scully" as Windows shut down), improved my typing skills...and many more. Hence,it honed my IT skills.

2. I read...a Lot. It doesn't matter that it was mainly XF- related material...the point is, I was a kid hooked to reading, and learning...yes, it made me a Geek, and how proud I am of that!

3. I learned self-censorship. Haha, yes, if any of you have checked out x-files fanfiction, you know there's lots of stuff 12 year olds shouldn't be reading. And having only myself to restrict what I was reading, I was careful not to read
things I thought I shouldn't. (Ok so basically, I stuck to UST and didn't venture into RST till I was in my later teen years).

4. I developed a deep attraction to clever, passionate guys. Unfortunately,they also tended to carry around alot of emotional baggage (which has made me worry about myself)...this is evident in that all my "fictional-character-crushes" tend to have a similar profile; brilliant, passionate, angst-heavy, emotionally scarred....; Mulder (duh), Dr. Carter (ER) Jack (Lost) & perhaps even House (ahem).

5. Clever women kick ass, and are damn sexy (have you met Scully?)(Btw, I'm the 'clever woman' in this. So spot the lesson?).

6. Where else would I have learned words like "syzgy", "prometheus" "autoerotic asphyxiation" and 'azygus_nexus' (my screen name on an XF board when i was 13)?



Why did the chicken cross the road?


Cigarette Smoking Man :::blows puff of smoke::: There was no chicken.
Fox Mulder: No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.


7. Developed a love for science...although I'd never grow to be good at it, TXF drummed into me a deep love for learning about science ; reading the real scientific explanations behind TXF episodes taught me ALOT.

8.Insight into Native American life; because of episodes like Anasazi and characters like Albert Hosteen, I learned about Navajo life, 'code-talkers' that were used in WWII, Native American religious practices & way of life...this would later lead me to do a project on NA-religions in Uni, a paper & presentation that turned out to be ass-kickingly good.

9. Humor - some of the funniest lines ever to be said on TV came from the x-files. I have no doubt that my sense of humor has been influenced by dialogue from TXF.

10. Research: As a kid, I didn't understand alot of what went on in TXF episodes, so, being an "X-Phile", as soon as the episode was over, I'd go online & read up as much as I could about the focus of that week's episode.

11. Fixing the VCR: I taped every episode of TXF, and became pretty much the only one who could figure out the VCR at home, hooking it up to the TV, changing the settings...(it sounds simple, but it is NOT when you are a kid!).

12. Cataloguing: Developed a system for organizing my XF tapes.

13. Saving money: I'd save money so that I'd have enough to buy blank tapes for my episodes...note: my allowance wasn't exactly huge.

14. Inspired my writing...when I was 10 I wrote a short story called "Beyond Comprehension", about alien abductions; when I was 16 we had to write an English essay that ended with the line "and together they accomplished it", my essay turned into a 3000-word story that involved the characters of Mulder & Scully on a case,
where the last line was meant to reflect their complex & absolutely fantastic partnership; In my last sem of university, my final paper for Psychophysiology/Perception was written as a part of a scene for TXF (no, it was Not plagiarized!).

15. XF-fanfic definitely formed my perceptions of love & romance. Some people have "Sweet Valley", others have Mills & Boons, I had writers like Leyla Harrison/Anne Haynes/ Sheryl Martin...sigh, good times.

16. It has made me a sucker for clever-subtle innuendo & witty comebacks.

17. Patience: Do you know what torture my soul went through knowing that the new
season of TXF would only be released in Malaysia one year after it's US release? Do you? Huh? DO YOU?!

18. An appreciation for private/in-jokes...ah, the bond that is the X-Phile community. The subtle comments, glances, every little detail nit picked, enjoyed and laughed/mused over...

19. Memory skills: Although I could never memorize anything relating to Kimia, or
whatever subject I loathed but had to learn, I could still easily memorize all episode & character names & details from every season.

20. Memories.

I'm sure there are a thousand other ways TXF inspired me, changed me, entertained me...and for all you skeptics out there who think its just another show, I want you to think about books that have affected you profoundly, music pieces, conversations, people...and think about the effect of that on someone at the age of 9, an effect
that 13 years later, is still so strong. Sure, it's crazy...but aih,
it's good-crazy, I say.


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How many X-Philes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- 23 to look at the bulb and get distracted because they realize it reminds them of a scene from The X-Files.